A Tragic Past

I lay still beneath the heavy, soft blankets, letting the quiet peace of the morning wash over me. I marveled internally at how incredibly accepting Caspian and his entire pack were. It was a stark, refreshing contrast to the relentless cruelty I had endured every single day of my old life. In my previous pack, weakness was a crime. If you had a problem, a flaw, or if you simply didn't fit into their rigid, aggressive hierarchy, you were treated like dirt beneath their boots. I had lived my whole sixteen years believing that was just how the werewolf world worked. I had accepted the abuse, the sneers, and the isolation as standard practice. But this place was different. Here, every pack member I had encountered treated me with basic decency, care, and love. They did not care that I was a pregnant rogue runaway with no status and no powerful family backing me. They treated me as an equal.

Even Caspian, the Alpha, was nothing like the arrogant leaders I was used to. He was extremely free and casual with his pack members. Sometimes, watching him joke and converse with the border guards or the omegas, it was easy to forget the immense power he held. He didn't rule with an iron fist or demand constant groveling. He was warm, attentive, and kind. He was, in every conceivable way, exactly what I had ever secretly wanted in a mate.

Yet, the Moon Goddess had cruelly and permanently tied me to Kael.

My chest tightened just thinking his name. I still could not fathom what the Goddess was thinking when she spun our souls together. We were nothing alike. He was cold, searing, and unapologetically cruel. He lacked even a fraction of the boundless kindness that lived in Caspian’s heart. But despite Kael’s remorseless rejection, despite the sheer brutality of how he had thrown me away without batting an eyelid, my mind still betrayed me daily. The mate bond was a vicious, unyielding thing. It didn't care about logic. It didn't care about my shattered heart.

Unbidden, vivid images of Kael flooded my mind, overriding my weak attempts to block them. I could see his tall, lean, but dangerously muscular body. I could see the way his dark brown hair always looked perfectly messy, as if he had just run his hands through it in frustration. Then came his face. The perfectly sharp jawline that looked like it could cut glass. Those lips that I had once foolishly believed were meant only for me. What I wouldn't give in my weakest moments just to feel them against mine again. And his voice—that deep, husky baritone that vibrated straight down my spine.

But the worst part, the most captivating feature that kept my mind chained to him, was his eyes. Those breathtaking green eyes. They were the color of a dense, vibrant forest, unique and impossible to replicate. They haunted my sleep and stalked my waking hours.

A sharp ache pulsed low in my chest, a desperate, agonizing longing that stole the breath from my lungs. I squeezed my eyes shut and dug my fingers into the soft mattress. I had to fight it. *Think of the bad things,* I ordered myself, forcing my breathing to steady. *Remember the rejection. Remember the coldness in those beautiful green eyes when he tossed you aside. Remember that he is all physical beauty with a soulless, arrogant personality.*

I repeated the memories of his cruelty in a loop, wielding them like a weapon against the bond. I forced myself to relive the humiliation, the sheer lack of remorse he displayed when he broke us apart. I needed the anger. I needed the pain to push the mate bond's agonizing longing away. It was exhausting. Some days, the mental warfare worked, and I could push him out of my head. Other days, the bond won, leaving me curled up in a miserable ball, crying over a male who did not give a damn about me.

A soft knock on my bedroom door suddenly interrupted my heavy, spiraling thoughts.

I blinked my eyes open, dragging myself back to the present reality. "Yes? Come in," I called out, shifting my awkward weight against the pillows.

The door handle pushed down, and the heavy wooden door swung open gently. Caspian stepped into my room, and my breath caught in my throat for an entirely different reason.

He had clearly just finished a grueling training session. He was shirtless, his skin glistening with a fresh, heavy layer of sweat. His perfectly sculptured torso was on full display, the muscles flexing with every subtle movement he made. My gaze locked onto a single bead of sweat tracing a path down the thick column of his neck. It rolled over his broad, delicious-looking chest, traveling down the rigid, defined blocks of his stomach. I watched, mesmerized, as the droplet slid past the deep, carved V-line at his hips and disappeared straight into the waistband of his low-riding athletic shorts.

I tried to clear my dry throat, but it came out as a loud, audible gulp instead. My eyes were blown wide. I was practically eye-raping the Alpha in his own pack house. A flush of intense heat exploded across my cheeks. What on earth was wrong with me?

Caspian rubbed the back of his neck, the movement making his biceps bulge. He looked visibly nervous, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. I had made him uncomfortable with my blatant staring.

"Um," he started, his voice a bit hesitant. "I was just wondering if you would like to take a stroll." He paused, taking a deep breath, his chest expanding impressively. "I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to. It's just that..." He walked a few steps further into the room, stopping a respectful distance from the edge of the bed. "You have been staying in this room a lot. The pack doctor strongly recommended frequent walks for your advanced pregnancy. It's good for the circulation."

He pursed his lips together, waiting for my response. I sighed softly, releasing the tension in my shoulders. Hiding indoors was a deeply ingrained survival habit. In my old pack, staying out of sight meant avoiding the bullies. It meant avoiding the random shoves in the hallways and the cruel whispers. But Caspian was right. I needed to move, for my own sake and the baby's.

"Yeah, I know," I admitted quietly. "A walk sounds nice."

Caspian offered a quick, relieved smile. "Okay. I just need to take a quick shower to rinse this off. I will be back in twenty minutes, alright?"

I nodded slowly, giving him a small, grateful smile. He turned and left the room, closing the door softly behind him. I let out a long breath, incredibly thankful that he had not pointed out my embarrassing staring. If he had mentioned it, I probably would have died of sheer mortification on the spot.

Exactly twenty minutes later, Caspian returned.

I looked up as he walked in, and a wave of hidden, quiet disappointment washed over me. He was wearing a shirt. The glorious view of his sculpted chest and rigid stomach was now hidden beneath soft, gray cotton. I pushed the inappropriate thoughts away and focused on the task at hand.

"Are you ready?" he asked, his voice returning to its normal, steady warmth.

"Yes. Would you please help me up?" I lifted my arms toward him.

He closed the distance instantly, wrapping his strong hands securely around my forearms. With a gentle but firm pull, he dragged my heavy body upward, balancing me on my feet. He didn't let go until he was sure my feet were planted and my center of gravity was somewhat stable.

Standing up was an event in itself these days. When I said I was heavily pregnant, it was a massive understatement. Given how incredibly small and skinny my natural physical frame was, the pregnancy looked absurd. I felt like a literal ball on a stick. My hips were narrow, my limbs were slender, but the bump jutting out from my stomach was huge. Carrying an Alpha's child was draining every ounce of energy from my tiny frame. I could barely lift my own body weight from a seated position anymore.

We stepped out of the large pack house, and the change in environment hit me instantly. The cool, crisp breeze of the outdoors swept over my skin. I closed my eyes for a brief second and inhaled deeply, filling my lungs with the fresh, pine-scented air. It felt amazing.

As I took my first clumsy step down the pathway, my unbalanced body swayed dangerously to the side. Before panic could even set in, Caspian thoughtfully wrapped his larger, calloused hand around mine. His rough skin slid against my palm, his grip steadying my awkward frame. He adjusted his hold, softening his touch so it was a gentle, protective anchor rather than a controlling grasp.

"Just in case you feel tired," he explained softly, keeping his pace painfully slow to match my waddling steps.

"Thank you," I murmured, smiling up at his handsome face. He was just so deeply thoughtful. The other males I had known in my life were egotistical, dominant, and controlling. They expected the females to keep up or be left behind. But Caspian altered his entire rhythm just to make sure I didn't trip.

We walked slowly away from the main house, following a paved dirt path that wove through the sprawling territory. We passed a few pack members along the way, and each of them stopped to offer a polite, respectful greeting to their Alpha and a warm nod to me. I still wasn't used to the lack of hostility, but it made the walk incredibly peaceful.

Eventually, we reached the pack park. It was empty today. The swings hung still, and the grassy play areas were deserted since all the pups were currently tucked away in the pack school. The quiet atmosphere was exactly what I needed.

Caspian guided me toward a sturdy wooden bench situated under the shade of a large oak tree. He kept his hand firmly on mine as I lowered my heavy body down, wincing slightly as my aching joints popped in protest. We settled comfortably onto the bench, the silence stretching pleasantly between us for a few moments.

"So, I was thinking we should visit Doctor Hayes later today," Caspian brought up, his voice dropping to a soft, serious tone. "Just for a check-up. After all, your delivery is only a month away."

My heart instantly hammered against my ribs, a cold spike of dread hitting my stomach. A month. The thought was genuinely terrifying. The older women in the pack had already expressed their concerns, advising me to eat more and rest constantly. They didn't say it to be mean; they were just shocked by my appearance. I didn't have the wide hips or the prominent curves usually required for a safe werewolf birth. The physical disparity between my incredibly small frame and the massive size of the Alpha baby growing inside me was a constant source of quiet panic in the back of my mind. The sheer mechanics of getting the baby out terrified me to my core.

Sensing my sudden spike in anxiety, Caspian smoothly shifted the conversation, his brow furrowing with concern.

"Do you want to call your parents?" he asked gently, leaning slightly closer. "Just to let them know you are safe here? It has been a long time. They must be worried about your disappearance."

The words hit me like a physical blow to the chest. A sudden, sharp lump formed in my throat, choking off my air. Tears instantly blurred my vision, stinging the corners of my eyes as the old, familiar grief clawed its way to the surface. I bit down hard on my lower lip, trying to stop the sudden trembling.

"They're dead," I whispered, the two words barely making it past my teeth.

Caspian's face immediately paled. The color drained from his cheeks as deep, heavy regret washed over his features. He realized instantly that he had struck a painful nerve.

"I am so sorry, Gia. I didn't know," he said quickly, his voice laced with guilt.

Taking my hand once again, he laced his fingers through mine. He began soothingly rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb, tracing small, repetitive circles against my skin. The warm, steady contact grounded me, pulling me back from the edge of a breakdown. I opened my mouth to tell him it was okay, that he couldn't have known, but he didn't give me the chance.

He stared down at our joined hands and courageously revealed his own tragedy.

"My parents are dead, too," Caspian explained, his voice thick with an old, enduring sorrow. "My mom died when I was six years old. My dad passed away when I was fifteen."

I remained perfectly silent, letting the shock of his words settle over me. I wanted to listen to him, just as he had always patiently listened to my endless problems.

"Because of that, I was forced to take over the pack," he continued, a dry, humorless chuckle escaping his lips. But I could hear the deep well of pain behind the sound. "I had to take on the immense burden as Alpha at just fifteen years old."

Fifteen. He was just a kid. I tried to imagine a fifteen-year-old boy carrying the weight, the safety, and the politics of an entire pack on his shoulders while mourning the loss of his father. The mental image broke my heart.

"I am a little over nineteen now," he added quietly, sensing my unspoken calculations. "So that was four years ago."

Nineteen. My mind spun with the new information. That meant he was a year older than Kael. It also meant he had lived through three whole years of being eligible to find his fated mate. The math didn't add up. Why was he alone? Why was he spending so much time taking care of a pregnant runaway instead of running his pack alongside a Luna?

Before I could stop myself, my burning curiosity slipped right out of my mouth.

"What about your mate?" I asked gently, keeping my voice soft. "Have you not found her yet?"

The moment the words left my lips, I knew I had made a terrible mistake. A familiar, heartbroken sheen quickly covered his warm brown eyes. The light in them dimmed, replaced by a haunting, hollow grief. I wanted to punch myself for prying.

"You really don't have to answer if you don't want to," I added quickly, squeezing his hand. I refused to make him feel uncomfortable on his own territory.

"No, it's fine," Caspian breathed out, forcing a sad, broken smile onto his lips. He blinked rapidly, fighting a fierce battle against the tears gathering in his eyes. One stubborn tear managed to escape, sliding down his sharp cheekbone. Without thinking, I reached up with my free hand and quickly wiped it away with my thumb.

His smile grew a fraction brighter at the touch, but the heavy sorrow anchored in his posture did not lift.

"My mate..." Caspian started, his chest rising as he took a ragged breath. "Nadine. She passed away a week after I found her."

My heart dropped into my stomach. A week.

"She was killed," he continued, his tone shifting drastically. The sorrow vanished, brutally replaced by raw, unadulterated fury. "By rogues."

He snarled the last word, the vicious, angry sound vibrating deep in his chest. It was the terrifying, primal sound of a grieving Alpha. Fear rocketed through my veins at the sheer intensity of his sudden rage.

"They found out she was my mate," Caspian spit out, his jaw clenched so tight I thought his teeth might crack. "And they targeted her for it. They killed her just to hurt me."

I sat there frozen, the breath knocked out of me. The sheer horror of his monumental loss crashed over me like a tidal wave. He had found his other half, the soul the Goddess created just for him, and she was brutally ripped away from him in a matter of days. Murdered. Butchered by rogues to spite him.

Suddenly, my own pain felt utterly insignificant and small. I had spent weeks drowning in self-pity because Kael had rejected me. I complained, I cried, and I cursed the bond because my mate was a cold-hearted asshole who slept with other women. But Kael was alive. He was breathing, walking, and existing in the world. Caspian’s mate was in the ground.

I didn't know how to comfort a grief that deep, but I knew I had to try. He had been my rock through my darkest moments; it was my turn to be his.

I reached out, placing my free hand firmly over his large hand that was already laced with mine. I squeezed his fingers, forcing him to look away from the grass and up into my eyes.

"I am so deeply sorry to hear that, Caspian," I said, pouring every ounce of sincerity I possessed into my voice. "I cannot sit here and say that I understand your pain, because my rejection is nothing compared to what you are feeling. But I can offer you this." I paused, holding his intense gaze. "I promise you that she is in a better place now. She is up there with the Moon Goddess, smiling down on you. I know she is incredibly proud of the Alpha, and the man, you have become. And I am very sure that she still loves you, just as much as you love her."

I didn't know if the words were right, or if they sounded clichéd, but they came straight from my heart.

The sincere words did the trick. The vicious anger melted away from his features, leaving behind a raw, vulnerable gratitude.

Caspian leaned in and pulled me into a careful, tender hug. He wrapped his strong arms around my shoulders, mindful of his placement, making sure not to squish my swollen belly between us. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, his body radiating a comforting, solid heat against the cool outdoor breeze.

"Thank you," he whispered into my ear, his breath tickling my skin. His voice was thick with emotion. "You make me happier than I have been in a very long time, Gia. I really appreciate you."

My heart fluttered strangely at his words. Before I could process the sudden warmth spreading through my chest, Caspian pulled away slightly. He didn't let go of me. Instead, he kept his arms loosely around me and captured my gaze. His brown eyes were intense, swirling with a warm, startling emotion that trapped the air in my lungs.

The romantic tension between us spiked, thick and undeniable.

He stared at my lips for a fraction of a second before meeting my eyes again, dropping a massive confession into the quiet space between us.

"I also kind of like you."