The Unwanted Distraction

HAZEL

I have spent the last seven days desperately dodging reality. My life has morphed into an agonizing waiting game, played out in the suffocating silence of our shared home. Declan treats me like a ghost. He comes back late into the night, long after he assumes I am asleep, and he is out the door at the crack of dawn, well before I open my eyes. The few times our paths manage to cross, he looks straight through me.

I bear the crippling waves of morning sickness alone. I spend my mornings hunched over the cold porcelain in the guest bathroom, pressing a hand over my mouth to muffle my gagging. Keeping this failing marriage a secret from the rest of the world, while simultaneously hiding a pregnancy from the man who wants to leave me, drains every ounce of energy from my bones.

Needing a brief escape from the crushing isolation, I arrange to meet Chloe at our usual coffee shop downtown.

"Hazel?" Chloe waves a hand in front of my face, pulling me back to the present. "Are you even in there? You have been staring at that same spot on your cup for ten minutes."

I blink, forcing a tight smile as I wrap my hands around the warm mug. "Sorry. My mind is just miles away today."

Chloe leans forward, her sharp gaze scanning my face. She takes in the dark, heavy bags beneath my eyes and the pale hue of my skin. She knows me too well. "You look exhausted," she murmurs, her voice laced with deep concern. "Is Declan giving you a hard time about the baby? You both seemed so eager to start a family."

My chest tightens. A sudden lump forms in my throat, choking my breath. I bite down on my lower lip and stare down at the dark liquid in my cup, fighting the sudden urge to break down.

"You haven't told him," Chloe states. It is not a question. Her intuition cuts right through my defenses.

I shake my head, the motion small and defeated. The shame burns my cheeks. "I can't tell him," I whisper, my voice cracking under the weight of the confession.

Chloe pushes her chair back, stands up, and moves to the empty seat right beside me. She reaches out, wrapping her warm hands over my trembling fingers. "It has been a whole week since you found out. Why are you keeping this a secret? You can talk to me, Hazel. Let me help."

The heavy dam holding back my emotions finally shatters. Hot tears spill over my lashes, tracing paths down my cheeks. I swipe at them with my free hand, hating how fragile I sound. "He wants a divorce," I choke out. The words taste like ash on my tongue.

Chloe gasps. Her hand flies up to cover her mouth, her eyes wide with shock. "A divorce? What happened? Why now?"

I shrug, pulling a tissue from the dispenser on the table. "I suppose he stopped loving me."

She scoffs, leaning in closer. "Does this have something to do with Vanessa? The woman he paraded around at that charity gala?"

My silence is all the confirmation she needs.

"I knew it," Chloe mutters, her jaw clenching. "What kind of man takes his ex-girlfriend to a high-profile event while his wife stays home? I didn't want to bring it up because you weren't talking about it, but this is ridiculous."

I stare at my trembling hands. "He looked me dead in the eye and said he was grateful we didn't have a child to tie us together. How am I supposed to tell him I am pregnant after hearing that?"

Chloe softens, squeezing my hand again. "That is incredibly cruel. But maybe you shouldn't fight this alone. Have you tried talking to his parents? They might mediate this situation. His mother could talk some sense into him."

I let out a bitter, hollow laugh. "Miriam Vance would throw a party if she found out Declan was leaving me." I wipe away a fresh tear. "She has always looked down on me. She barely even showed up to our wedding. Seeking solace from that woman is a guaranteed death sentence for my sanity."

"What about his father?" Chloe presses, refusing to give up. "Arthur might listen."

I shake my head again. "Arthur evaluates human beings purely on business metrics. He sees my marriage to Declan as a failed investment. Vanessa’s family owns the largest, most prestigious law firm in the country. A union with her means Thorne Law Firm backs D&V Construction for generations. Arthur would choose her over me in a heartbeat. They both would."

Chloe sighs, sagging back in her chair. "So what is your plan, Hazel?"

I steady my breathing, staring out the coffee shop window at the passing traffic. "I am going to confront him tonight. One last, definitive time. I will ask him if this is what he truly wants. If he remains unyielding, I will surrender. I will sign the papers and let him go."

***

Later that night, the house is cloaked in a heavy, suffocating silence. I lie still on my side of the massive king-sized bed, surrounded by the dark. The glowing red numbers on the digital clock read past midnight.

The bedroom door clicks open. Soft footsteps pad across the hardwood floor. Declan walks in, sheds his tailored suit, and changes into his sleepwear. The mattress dips as he climbs into the opposite side of the bed, putting as much distance between us as physically possible. He assumes I am fast asleep.

Gathering every ounce of remaining courage, I open my eyes. I stare at his broad back.

"We need to talk."

My voice shatters the quiet room. Declan stiffens. He lets out a long, heavy exhale. "Can't this wait until morning, Hazel? I am exhausted."

"You will be gone before I even wake up," I state, propping myself up on my elbow. I know his routine. He slips away before dawn just to avoid looking at my face. "No. It cannot wait."

He rolls over. The dim moonlight filtering through the blinds casts harsh shadows across his sharp jawline. "What do you want to talk about?"

I sit up, pulling the blanket over my chest. I look directly into his cold, calculating grey eyes. "It is about the divorce. I need to know. Are you sure you really want to do this?" I offer him one final opportunity to pull back from the brink, to show even a shred of hesitation. "Once I sign those papers, there is no going back."

Declan does not blink. His expression remains carved from stone. "I am a businessman, Hazel. I do not say or do things that I do not mean. I evaluate my decisions carefully to ensure I leave no room for regret."

A cold chill seeps into my blood. "Can you at least give me a real reason?"

He curses under his breath, shifting against the headboard. "Do I really need to spell this out for you?"

"Yes," I insist, my voice trembling. "I want you to spell it out."

"Our marriage has devolved into an unwanted distraction," he states with chilling conviction. Every syllable feels like a physical dagger twisting deep into my chest. "It is better we end this relationship now, on somewhat good terms, before the lingering feelings curdle into something much worse."

"Worse?" I echo. "Like what?"

"Hatred," Declan says, his tone flat and unyielding. "Anger. Frustration."

I raise my hand, stopping him. "That is enough." I swallow the lump in my throat, searching for the ultimate truth that has haunted me since the night of the gala. "Did you ever love me, Declan?"

Silence thickens the air between us. He stares at me, his jaw tight, his gray eyes guarded. He refuses to answer.

I let out a broken breath. "Do you love Vanessa?"

He remains mute. But the profound, unbroken silence and the fleeting, vulnerable shift in his gaze give me all the painful, undeniable answers I will ever need. He doesn't love me. He never truly let go of her.

Tears prick my eyes, but I blink them away. I slowly wipe my damp cheeks. Reaching over to my bedside drawer, I pull out the thick stack of divorce papers he threw at me a week prior.

I grab a pen from the nightstand. The metal feels freezing against my skin. Flipping through the pages, I find every dotted line. I sign my name with trembling but decisive strokes, legally dissolving our four-year union. The scratch of the pen on paper sounds deafening in the quiet room.

When I reach the final page, I cap the pen. I gather the heavy documents and pass them over the vast, empty space of the bed, dropping them onto his side.

"Goodnight, Declan," I whisper softly.

I lie back down, turning my back to him, and resign myself to the dark.