Terms of Courtship

HAZEL

I stare at the ridiculous sheet of paper in my hand for so long that the words begin to blur. At the top, written in large, obnoxiously confident letters, are the words:

APPLICATION TO BECOME HAZEL'S OFFICIAL BOYFRIEND

Beneath it, Cade has apparently divided his qualifications into categories.

Previous experience: Five years of long-distance devotion. Admittedly, the distance was pri