Fierce Mating and the Knot

The tears eventually ran dry, leaving a hollow, freezing cavity in Saskia’s chest. She lay alone in the dark, her mind bypassing the grief to settle into a rigid, logical certainty. She stared at the ceiling and ran the stark calculations in her head. Within the next six months, Dominic would inevitably stop coming to her bedroom. The pathetic remnants of his time he still dedicated to her would evaporate. He would retire to the Alpha Suite with his second mate every single night, severing their two-decade bond in every practical sense. He refused to acknowledge the reality, assuming she would just accept being bound to him in name while meaning nothing to him in practice.

He had Kelsie now. He no longer slept alone. Bonded pairs were biologically wired to sleep together, and forced separation triggered a deep, instinctual ache. But right now, only Saskia felt that pain. Dominic possessed a shiny new bond, one that outweighed the history he shared with his Luna. Kelsie was not just calling Dominic back to her side; the young she-wolf was attempting to erase everything Saskia had bled to build with him. Once Dominic stopped crossing the threshold into Saskia's room, Kelsie would secure her victory.

The contrast between the two women was stark. Kelsie was young, playful, and demanding. Saskia was forty-one. She was sensible, mature, and deeply grounded. She had spent her youth standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Dominic in the shadows, fighting tooth and nail to save the pack from disastrous financial ruin. They had inherited a broken system and forged a prosperous territory through sheer grit and sacrifice. She possessed the knowledge and experience to run the entire pack single-handedly. Kelsie could not manage the pack's affairs if her life depended on it. Yet Dominic seemed oblivious to the silent agony tearing through Saskia’s soul. He was too busy selfishly reliving his lost youth with his second mate. Dominic’s wolf, Bane, had not initiated play with Saskia’s wolf, Vara, since Kelsie entered the picture. Dominic loved the carefree dynamic Kelsie provided—a dynamic Saskia and Dominic missed out on because they were too busy saving their people from collapse.

The stifling walls of the bedroom closed in on her. Saskia tossed the blankets aside, stood up naked, and walked straight toward the French doors. She pushed the heavy glass open and stepped out onto the freezing, wind-swept balcony.

The brutal chill of the early winter season bit into her bare skin. She welcomed the freezing temperature, desperately hoping the icy wind would numb her physical body and, by extension, numb her heart. She needed the strength to eventually endure the fatal, soul-crushing pain of officially rejecting her mate. Breaking an Alpha-Luna bond of twenty years could kill one or both of them. Dominic walked around in a delusion, thinking he could have both women without consequence. Saskia knew the impending rejection might just kill her and leave him unscathed.

She tilted her head back, turning her face up to the glowing moon hanging over the dark tree line. In the quiet of the freezing night, she spoke directly to the Goddess Elyria.

"When it happens, Elyria, do not make me a Luna again," Saskia said, her voice devoid of warmth. "I do not want the responsibility of holding a pack together at the cost of my own heart, or my wolf's heart. We will be happy just being regular wolves."

She stared at the silver orb in the sky, acknowledging the title granted to her by the Goddess herself.

"I will not fail this pack, or those who live here, even if Dominic fails me," she vowed solemnly. "I will remain the perfect, dutiful Luna until the exact day I simply stop caring. I will stay until I truly know I am not needed. But then, I will leave, and you will release me to live a better life elsewhere. That is the deal I make with you, my Goddess."

Saskia gripped the icy iron railing of the balcony, her knuckles turning white. "This is my oath to you for the blessing you gave me that lasted two decades. But I declare my rejection of this new blessing. I reject Kelsie. She is fundamentally unworthy of holding the sacred title of Luna. I feel your choice was wrong regarding that she-wolf. I am sorry I state something so unforgivable to the creator who gave us life, but it is my truth. Do not punish this pack for my thoughts on the matter."

Saskia stood on the balcony until her skin turned pale and her limbs grew stiff. She watched the moon fall beyond the horizon, making peace with her impending departure. She did not know when the day would come—a month, a year, or five years from now—but she knew she would recognize it. It would be the day she looked at her pack and felt absolute apathy. Until then, she would fulfill every request asked of her.

When she could no longer feel her fingers, she retreated back inside the suite. She marched to the bed and aggressively stripped the mattress. She ripped off the pillows, the duvet, and the fitted sheet that still smelled heavily of Dominic's masculine scent. She carried the bundle to the hallway and shoved the linens down into the dark laundry chute.

She pulled fresh, cold sheets from the closet and meticulously remade the bed, smoothing out every wrinkle until the surface was flawless. She walked back toward the balcony but did not touch the handles. She deliberately left the French doors wide open to the biting winter cold. She wanted the freezing wind to flood the room. She sought a profound physical numbness to battle her overwhelming loneliness.

Saskia crawled under the thin layer of her new sheets. The icy air swept over her face and shoulders. Vara let out a soft huff inside her mind, but the wolf did not push to shift and warm them. Vara allowed Saskia to cope in her own way. Saskia lay shivering in the dark, using the intense physical discomfort to distract her mind from the empty space beside her. Eventually, sheer exhaustion overtook her, and she fell into a fitful, restless sleep.

Hours later, Saskia was abruptly awakened by a familiar, intense cramp seizing her lower abdomen. She curled into a ball, groaning softly as a second wave of deep, pulsing pain radiated through her pelvis. Her biological heat cycle had started. She let out a half-snort of dark amusement. Of course, her heat would hit now, right when she had decided to fade into the background.

Before she could even sit up to close the balcony doors and shield her scent from the unmated males of the pack, the heavy oak door of her private suite pushed open.

Dominic stepped inside. He stopped in his tracks, frowning at the freezing temperature of the room. He was fresh from his morning training routine. He stood bare-chested and barefoot, wearing only a pair of loose gym shorts. Sweat gleamed on his muscular torso, dripping down his neck and chest.

The moment he inhaled, his eyes dilated. The powerful pheromones of a Luna in heat flooded his senses. His blatant abandonment of her the previous night vanished from his mind, forgotten in the overwhelming face of his primal, biological urges. Even after two years of a strained mate bond, he still craved her heat.

He kicked the door shut behind him and smiled, his gaze locking onto her on the bed. Driven purely by instinct, he crossed the freezing room and started pulling his shorts off. He climbed onto the mattress, hovering over her, his large frame blocking out the light from the open balcony.

Saskia did not rush to climb on him as she once would have. The excited, passionate response she used to feel—the eager desire that used to make her arch her back and welcome his touch—was dead. But Dominic paid no attention to her lack of enthusiasm.

"We should have an heir this year, a son who is big and strong," he told her, claiming her mouth with a forceful kiss.

Dominic initiated sex immediately. He grabbed her hips, rolled her over on the mattress, and pulled her up onto all fours. He positioned himself behind her, pressing his hard, fully erect penis against her wet vagina. With one forceful shove of his hips, he penetrated her, burying his penis deep inside her.

Saskia gasped as he hit her cervix, but she found herself feeling distinctly, profoundly detached. Her physical body went through the motions. Her vagina clamped down around his penis, and her natural lubrication aided his rapid, relentless friction. But her mind remained cold, matching the frozen air swirling around the room.

Dominic mated her fiercely and aggressively. He gripped her waist, pulling her flush against his groin with every brutal thrust. The wet slapping sound of their bodies echoed in the freezing room. He grunted, sweat dripping from his forehead onto her spine. He reached around to grab her breasts, squeezing the flesh as he drove his hips faster.

The intense physical act reached its peak. Dominic threw his head back and let out a guttural groan. Deep inside Saskia’s vagina, the base of his penis swelled rapidly. The biological canine knot expanded, stretching her internal tissues until it locked him rigidly inside her. Firmly knotted and unable to pull out, he collapsed forward, resting his heavy weight against her back.

He had just stated he wanted an heir. A son for the pack. As he held her body pinned against his, Saskia’s heart dropped. A cold realization hit her, heavier than the physical weight of the man locked inside her body. He had not discussed having a pup with her in a very long time—not since they made the mutual decision to stabilize the pack's finances first.

He had been having this exact, specific conversation with Kelsie.

Saskia remembered Kelsie’s arrogant, boastful words echoing in her memory. Kelsie had claimed she would give the Alpha a good, strong heir right away because she was young and healthy. The younger wolf had blindly assumed Saskia was barren. Kelsie saw twenty years of mating with no pups and concluded Saskia could not conceive. Kelsie was unaware of the pack's true history. She did not know that the lack of an heir was due to a long-standing, firm mutual decision between Saskia and Dominic to utilize specialized wolfen birth control until the pack finally prospered out of their crippling debt.

Now, Dominic was projecting those exact conversations with his second mate onto Saskia, blurring the lines between them in his pheromone-addled brain. Even Dominic had forgotten their own history.

Dominic shifted his weight, adjusting the rigid hold of his knot inside her. He pressed his mouth intimately to her ear, blindly oblivious to Saskia’s severe emotional withdrawal and the dead coldness in her eyes.

"Sweetheart, what do you want to name our son when he is born?" he whispered softly, kissing her earlobe.

Saskia stared blankly at the wall. She bit the inside of her cheek and restrained a heavy, exhausted sigh. She swallowed the urge to ask him why he cared. When she did not answer, he hummed against her skin, waiting for a response.

She spoke with a firm, steady voice. "I am on wolfen birth control. Remember?"

Dominic startled. He pulled his head back, a frown evident in his silence before a soft chuckle rumbled in his chest. He casually brushed off his massive lapse in memory.

"My bad," he said. "I forgot in the heat of the moment."

He shifted his hips again, testing the tight biological lock, before settling back down. "Perhaps it is time to come off that now," he suggested confidently.

"Mm," was her only dry response.

"What is the matter?" he asked, sensing her stiffness. "The pack is healthy. We are operating in the black, and we are making money, growing our wealth."

Saskia replied with a dry, emotionless tone. "I am aware. I am the pack accountant."

The room fell silent except for the howling winter wind rushing through the open balcony doors. They lay physically tied together on the bed, waiting for Dominic’s knot to naturally release. Saskia’s mind unwillingly drifted back to the distant days of their youth.

There was a time when intimate moments exactly like this were filled with sweet, silly, and loving lovers' talk. After his knot released, they used to lie awake in the tangled sheets and dream about the future. They would debate what their pups would look like, trying to guess whose exact eye color they would inherit—Dominic’s sharp, light blue eyes or Saskia’s pale green ones. They would laugh and argue over whether the pups would inherit Dominic’s stubborn hair or Saskia’s fiery temperament. They talked endlessly about the things they would teach their children and the games they would play. They even planned where they would take them on vacation when they were old enough to travel outside the territory.

Dominic had always been conservative and practical with their finances. He had spent hours calculating the astronomical future costs of sending children to Alpha College, accounting for the inflation that would surely hit over the next few decades. He dreamed of having just two pups. A boy and a girl was his perfect idea for the pack. He wanted a strong son to eventually take over the grueling pack duties, and a little girl to spoil rotten.

Saskia had never once objected to his modest dreams. She had only ever smiled, poked him in the chest, and told him that under her roof, there would be no playing favorites.