I Don't Want to Die

Rafe

I stared down into her wide blue eyes, seeing the raw confusion swimming in her gaze. She was intoxicated by my aura, caught in the heavy pull of my power, yet the sheer terror radiating from her small frame hit me hard. I released my tight grip around her waist, stepping back before I did something reckless. The sudden loss of contact left my hands feeling strangely empty.

"Walk with me," I ordered, keeping my voice low.

She fell into step beside me. I kept my strides measured, but she still had to half-jog to keep pace as we headed back to the house. Her eyes remained glued to the ground, focusing intensely on her bare feet moving against the earth. She refused to look up.

"Take a seat," I told her as I guided her into my office.

She did not hesitate the way she used to at Moonscar. She moved straight toward one of the heavy leather chairs and sat down. Her legs clamped tight together. She dragged the long sleeves of her top down, stretching the fabric until it hid her trembling hands. Her head bowed, locking her chin to her chest in utter submission.

"Malia?"

Her spine snapped straight at the sound of her name. I heard her pulse spike, the frantic thudding of her heartbeat echoing in the quiet room. The last time her heart raced this fast, she nearly passed out on the floor.

"I swear I don't know," she blurted out, her chest heaving. "If I did, I would tell you. I promise."

The words tumbled from her mouth in a desperate rush. She spoke as though those frantic sentences were the only things keeping a blade from her throat. She was fighting for her life in her own mind. A dark, heavy sensation flooded my veins. It took me a second to recognize the bitter taste of guilt. It was a foreign emotion, one I had not felt in years. She should not feel this kind of terror around me.

*You are upsetting her!* Rokar growled in my head, his massive claws scratching at the edges of my mind.

"I shouldn't have shouted at you," I murmured. I leaned back and sat on the edge of my mahogany desk, trying to put some distance between us so my presence would not suffocate her. "You didn't deserve that." I paused, my jaw tightening as I thought about the other twisted detail she had revealed. "You stole food?"

"I had to," she whispered, her voice barely carrying across the room.

The more I discovered about that wretched pack and what they subjected her to, the more my blood boiled. The hatred I harbored for Brant and his pathetic followers deepened into a lethal promise. When the time came, the entire lot of them would bleed out in the dirt.

*Finally, something we can agree on,* Rokar rumbled.

Malia's eyes flashed up to me for a fraction of a second before she bit down hard on her bottom lip. I stared at her battered form and made a silent vow. I would eradicate her painful past. I would tear it out by the roots.

Pack contracts were a simple game. Every single agreement I ever drafted favored me. The opposing Alphas were always too arrogant, too buried in their own egos to read the fine print or negotiate properly. They always lost out. This time, it would be Brant. I would strip his pack of everything they owned.

"Tell me about Valeria," I instructed. I purposefully kept my Alpha tone soft, acutely aware of how easily my voice put her on edge.

A sudden flicker of rage crossed her face. It vanished as quickly as it appeared, swallowed by her ingrained fear, but I caught it. I had seen that same spark back at Moonscar when the stupid Luna called her a rat.

"What do you want to know?" she asked hesitantly.

"Everything. And no lies. How long has she been with Brant?"

Malia shrugged her small shoulders. "She has been around for as long as I can remember. Brant is twelve years older than me. They went to school together."

"She is his true mate?"

Malia nodded. "She was nice once, before I killed my parents. She used to bring me presents. Toys mostly. It all changed after she became Luna and I became nothing."

"You didn't kill your parents." I ground my teeth, frustrated by the brainwashing she had endured. When would she accept the truth? "And you are not nothing. Not anymore."

She puffed out her cheeks, her brow furrowing in deep disbelief.

"Talk to me," I muttered, pushing aside Rokar's restless pacing in my skull.

"I will be nothing when you cast me aside for a new bride."

I rolled my eyes, a heavy sigh leaving my chest. "Vesper?"

She nodded, keeping her gaze pinned to her lap.

"Vesper needs to learn to keep her mouth shut." I stared at her. I demanded the truth from her, so it was only fair I offered the same in return. "Vesper isn't wrong. There have been other brides. But none that I truly wanted by my side."

"You killed them?"

Vesper was going to get a severe reprimand. She loved feeding my brides the same gruesome stories, testing their nerves. It was the exact reason some of those women had packed their bags and run into the woods.

"Some of them," I admitted flatly.

She nodded again, swallowing hard.

"I didn't kill them because I grew bored," I explained, needing her to understand the difference. "Some were passing pack secrets back to their old Alphas. Others were greedy, desperate to drain my accounts or hang on my arm like a trophy. If I had pack business to handle, they whined about not getting enough attention. They were liabilities."

"Oh."

"Vesper likes to do this. She likes to test the women brought here. But do you know what every single one of those brides had in common?"

Malia slowly shook her head.

"I never marked them." I let the weight of the confession settle between us. "I could never bring myself to do it. Something always held me back."

Malia was the first one I genuinely considered claiming. My teeth ached with the urge to sink into her neck, and I still could not figure out what invisible force was drawing me to her.

*She is perfect,* Rokar purred, sounding utterly smitten.

I reached across the desk and grabbed the small pot of healing cream Vesper had provided. Sensing my movement, Malia automatically stood up from the chair. Without prompting, she lifted the hem of her top, exposing the dark, ugly bruising on her stomach.

I scooped a bit of the cold ointment onto my fingertips. The second my skin brushed against hers, she let out a sharp gasp. I heard her heart skip a chaotic beat. She slammed her eyes shut. She had a persistent habit of hiding in the dark, either afraid to witness the pain coming her way or terrified of meeting my gaze.

My fingers paused over her warm skin. She held her breath, her muscles locking up under my touch.

"Breathe, Malia," I whispered.

Her heart skipped again. She forced her lungs to expand, her chest rising against my knuckles. A single tear escaped the corner of her closed eye, tracking down her pale cheek.

"I don't want to die," she whispered, her voice cracking.

Her eyes flashed open. Deep, piercing blue locked straight onto my crimson gaze. It was the very first time since I dragged her from Moonscar that she truly looked at me. Her breathing hitched, her soft lips parting just a fraction.

A fierce, consuming need erupted inside my chest. A primal urge to trap her against the desk, to make her mine right then and there so no other male could ever look at her. The intensity of the possessive surge stole the air from the room.

*Mate!* Rokar roared, the sound vibrating through my bones.

*Not possible. Her wolf isn't present,* I argued back, fighting the instinct threatening to hijack my body.

*Mate!* he repeated, louder this time. He was growing agitated, clawing at my mental barriers.

*You're wrong!*

Malia's blue eyes remained locked on mine. The tears stopped falling. Her brow dipped in confusion as she stared up at my frozen posture.

"I have to..." I muttered, pulling my hand back as if I had been burned.

I turned away sharply. The raw vulnerability in her gaze threw me off balance. I needed space to breathe, to cage the beast thrashing in my head. I stormed out of the office, slamming the heavy door behind me.

*Go back!* Rokar demanded, his snarl echoing in my ears. *Go back, we need to mark her!*

I felt his power pushing forward, trying to break my control and seize the reins. The harder he pushed, the harder I fought back, forcing him down into the dark corners of my mind. I strode out of the house, letting the cool night air hit my face.

I crossed the pack grounds, heading straight for the hospital. I needed to know exactly what Vesper had poisoned her mind with.

I found Vesper asleep at the front desk. I slammed my hand down on the counter, startling her awake.

"What the f*ck did you say to her?" I snapped.

Vesper blinked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes before rolling them at me. "She needs to know the truth. It isn't fair if she doesn't know what's coming." She let out a loud yawn, unbothered by my towering rage. "Why? Has she done a runner?"

"No. She is in my office."

"Then no harm done." Vesper shrugged, leaning back in her chair. "If you want my opinion, she is nice. Different from the others."

"I am well aware. Why do you think I chose her?"

*Because she is our mate,* Rokar muttered gleefully, relishing the validation.

I ignored the beast. He had to be wrong. Her wolf was dormant, missing, broken. It was biologically impossible to confirm a bond without the other wolf stepping forward.

Vesper stood up and walked around the desk, leaning against the edge and flashing a knowing smile. "I was right. You do really like this one, don't you?"

"She has a name," I growled, turning on my heel. I had no patience for her games.

I marched back toward the Alpha estate.

*Why are you fighting it?* Rokar asked as I stopped at the bottom of the porch steps.

*How do you know?* I challenged him.

*When she looked us in the eye. Her wolf is buried deep, but it's strong. I can feel it. Maybe even stronger than us.*

I pushed the front door open. Her unique, subtle scent still lingered in the hallway. I gave her an easy opportunity to flee. The front door had been unguarded. The woods were right there. But she had not run.

I stepped into the office. She was still sitting in the leather chair, her knees pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped tightly around her legs.

Rokar practically screamed at me to claim her, demanding I taste her skin. I shoved the urge down.

"Why are you still here?" I asked.

"You didn't tell me to go anywhere," she murmured, lowering her chin back to her knees. "And I have nowhere to go."

I walked around the desk, eyeing the stacks of pack reports. "Have you looked through my stuff?"

The papers did not look disturbed, but that meant nothing. Spies were trained to be meticulous.

She shook her head, her dark hair falling around her face.

"I don't tolerate lies," I warned her. "I don't do scheming women."

She frowned, dragging her teeth across her bottom lip. A furious blush crept up her neck, setting her cheeks aflame with deep shame. "I didn't look because... I..." She swallowed hard. "I can't read."

The confession hit me like a physical blow. It was the last thing I expected her to say. The others always spun intricate, crazy lies to cover their tracks. Malia just handed me her deepest humiliation without a fight.

"School?" I asked, though the realization was already sinking in.

She shook her head again. I should have figured it out. She had been locked in a basement and treated as a slave since she was six years old. They denied her food; they certainly denied her an education.

"Vesper tried teaching me a bit," she added softly. "But I didn't understand."

Why didn't Vesper tell me this? Was it because she actually cared about Malia? Vesper hated every single one of my previous brides. She never lifted a finger to help them.

I stood in silence, staring at the broken girl in my chair.

Malia misread my quiet shock. Panic flared in her scent.

"I get it," she muttered, her voice trembling violently as the tears returned. "You regret choosing me. But please don't kill me. I can work. I can clean. I can do anything you need me to do. Just please don't kill me."

My chest tightened until it physically ached. I stepped forward, grabbing her arms and pulling her up from the chair. I planted my lips on hers.