You're Welcome, Pipes

"For Christ's sake, there's a child in here!" Mom shrieked, her voice pitching into a hysterical frequency that practically rattled the crystal vases on the living room mantel. She lunged forward, frantically slapping her hands over little Mia’s eyes and ears as if I had just unleashed an ancient, flesh-eating demon from the sleek black packaging.

I didn't flinch. In fact, I beamed.

I reached in