Goodbye Notes

Elara’s POV

I woke up the following morning with swollen, burning red eyes. Every time I blinked, a gritty, raw sensation scraped against my eyelids, a harsh reminder of the endless tears I had shed through the dark hours of the night. But despite the physical exhaustion weighing down my limbs, my mind was sharper and clearer than it had been in days. The thick, suffocating fog of misery had finally lifted, replaced by a single, rock-solid decision: I needed to leave this pack. Today.

The thought alone sent a sudden, electric surge of adrenaline straight through my veins, pushing away the lingering fatigue. I absolutely refused to stay here another day just to be treated as some mindless breeding object. I was done enduring the constant, sneering insults from Zarek, the sharp-tongued mockery from Vespera, and the heavy, humiliating pity radiating from the rest of the pack. I had to get out, and I had to do it before my courage failed me.

But first, I needed to gather my strength. I hadn't eaten a single bite at the banquet last night, and my stomach was twisting into painful, hollow knots.

As I padded barefoot down the wooden staircase, a strange, sickening odor wafted up to greet me. It hung heavy in the air, a foul, metallic, and distinctly rancid stench that made my stomach churn and my nose wrinkle in deep disgust. I followed the terrible smell directly into the kitchen, finding my mother standing nervously by the counters.

"Morning, Mom," I said, my voice hoarse as I stepped into the room.

She jumped violently, letting out a sharp gasp of surprise. Her hands moved in a frantic, guilty blur, quickly shoving something out of sight and slamming a kitchen drawer shut with a loud clatter.

"Oh! Elara, sweetheart, you startled me," she breathed, forcing a strained, unnatural smile onto her lips as she quickly wiped her hands on her apron.

I stepped further in, swiping a hand over my nose. "Do you smell that? It’s awful. Like something completely spoiled."

Her eyes darted nervously to the side, completely avoiding my direct gaze. "Oh, that. I just found some rotten eggs while I was getting the ingredients ready for baking this morning. I had to throw them out," she claimed, her voice a little too high, a little too breathless. She quickly turned her back to me, rushing toward the kitchen island. "Here, sit down."

She quickly set down a plate filled with my absolute favorite animal-shaped gingerbread cookies alongside a steaming, warm mug of apple cinnamon tea. The sweet, spicy aroma of the cookies battled against the lingering foul scent in the room. I looked at the little baked wolves, bears, and rabbits. They were perfectly golden and still radiating fresh heat from the oven.

I dragged my gaze from the plate up to her face. Dark, heavy purple shadows bruised the delicate skin under her eyes, and her posture was slumped with deep exhaustion. A heavy knot of guilt formed in my chest. While I had been crying myself to sleep, wrapped in my own misery, she had clearly stayed awake all night baking these childhood treats just to comfort me.

But that fleeting spark of warmth completely vanished the second she pulled out a stool and sat down beside me.

She reached out, gently taking my hand in hers. She hesitated, biting her bottom lip before the words tumbled out into the quiet kitchen. "Elara… I was thinking. I really think you should actually consider Alpha Draxon's Breeder proposal from last night."

The gingerbread cookie slipped from my numb fingers, dropping onto the plate with a dull thud.

I stared at her, my heart shattering all over again. "Mom," I said, my voice sharp and trembling with pure disbelief. "How could you even suggest such a thing? I thought you, out of everyone in this entire pack, were the one person who truly understood my desire for real love."

She looked thoroughly startled by my reaction, her face flushing as tears welled up in her exhausted eyes. "I only said it because I want what is best for your security," she rushed to explain, her fingers squeezing mine tightly. "The world is dangerous for someone without a wolf. Sometimes, when you truly love someone, you have to make sacrifices. You wouldn't be alone, Elara. You will still have your family. You will still have us."

I pulled my hand out of her grip, wrapping my arms defensively around my own waist. The very idea made my skin crawl. "Security doesn't mean selling my body and my future to a man who only wants to use me," I told her firmly, fighting to keep my voice steady. "Even if everyone in Rimeveil thinks I am being incredibly selfish, I will never share my love with someone I did not choose. I won't do it."

She reached out again, her voice breaking into a soft, pleading whisper. "Okay… okay. I’m not trying to force you. I just want you to be happy and safe. That’s all I care about, Elara."

Before I could formulate a response, a loud, painfully grating voice shattered the tense atmosphere. Vespera was standing outside the open kitchen window, her commanding tone cutting through the crisp morning air.

"Kaelen! Training's about to start! Stop dragging your feet, everyone is waiting for you!"

Heavy, hurried footsteps pounded down the stairs. Kaelen rushed into the kitchen, his training gear already strapped on. But the moment he saw me sitting rigidly at the table with my mother, he stopped dead in his tracks. A deep, agonizing uncertainty crossed his striking features.

"Elara, I—" he began, taking a hesitant step toward me.

"Kaelen, hurry up!" Vespera's voice shrieked again, impatient and demanding.

Our eyes met across the room. I saw the guilt swimming in his gaze, the heavy worry, and a profound, tearing regret. He looked like a man being ripped in two different directions. But then, just as he always did, he looked toward the window. Toward the waiting pack, toward Vespera, toward his Alpha's orders.

"I've got to go," he said quietly, taking a step back toward the door. "We'll talk later, okay?"

I just nodded, lowering my face to stare blankly at my mug of tea. He turned around and rushed out the door without another word. Once again, the choice had been made. And once again, I was left behind.

His departure instantly solidified my resolve. Every lingering doubt I had about leaving evaporated into thin air. I was nothing but a burden here. I was the weak link, the wolfless girl sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else live the lives I was entirely barred from.

My mother sat beside me, gently placing her hand over mine again. "How are you feeling today, sweetie?"

I forced a weak, utterly fake smile onto my face. "Just tired. I didn't sleep well."

"That’s completely understandable," she sighed softly. "You’ve been through a lot."

"I think I’ll go upstairs and rest for a bit," I said, pushing the half-empty mug away. "Don’t worry about me, Mom. You should really head outside to help with the post-festival meat smoking. I know there’s a massive amount of work to do today."

She hesitated, her eyes scanning my face for any signs of a breakdown. "Are you sure? I can stay inside with you."

"I’m sure," I insisted, injecting as much bright cheer into my tone as I possibly could. "Besides, Kaelen and Dad brought down two huge deer last night. They're going to need your help with all that meat."

She finally nodded, completely falling for my distraction. "Alright. But I’ll come up and check on you later."

The second the back door clicked shut behind her, I sprinted up the stairs. My heart pounded wildly against my ribs, an erratic drumbeat of pure adrenaline. I didn't have much time. The smoking sheds would keep the pack occupied for hours, giving me the absolute perfect window of opportunity.

I burst into my bedroom and immediately grabbed my deerskin backpack. My mother had stitched it for me years ago, decorating the leather with intricate beadwork. I quickly shoved in my warmest clothes, a few essential toiletries, and all the cash savings I had secretly hoarded from doing summer jobs around the territory.

Next, I opened my nightstand drawer. My fingers brushed over the smooth wood of the bone flute Kaelen had carved for my tenth birthday. He had spent weeks perfecting the sound, sanding it down until it was flawless. Swallowing hard against the lump in my throat, I placed it carefully at the bottom of the bag.

Finally, I grabbed my most prized possession—Tink. It was a beautiful, lethal silver dagger my father had hand-forged for me right after the brutal vampire war. The carved leather handle fit perfectly in my palm. He had given it to me to keep me safe when he couldn't be there to protect me. Now, it was going to be my only line of defense in the human world. I slid the blade securely into the side pocket of my backpack.

I sat down at my small wooden desk, pulling out a blank sheet of paper and a pen. I wanted to write a long, detailed explanation. I wanted to pour out all my heartbreak, my apologies, and my reasons for running away. But as I stared at the stark white paper, the words completely failed me.

In the end, I kept it simple.

*I love you all, but I cannot stay. Please do not worry about me, and please do not try to find me. I will be okay.*

I wiped away the hot tears that threatened to spill over my lashes, dropping the pen. I left the small note sitting squarely on the center of my pillow where they couldn't miss it.

Turning to my mirror, I pulled a thick white knit cap tightly over my head, making absolutely sure to hide every single strand of my distinct, glowing silver hair. Blending into the human world meant leaving every trace of my Rimeveil identity behind.

I slung the heavy backpack over my shoulder and grabbed the keys off my dresser. They belonged to the bright red compact car my father had gifted me just yesterday for my birthday. The metal felt ice-cold against my sweaty palm.

Moving as silently as a ghost, I slipped down the stairs, out the back door, and slid into the driver's seat. I started the engine, shifting into gear. As the car rolled down the long, snow-dusted driveway, I kept my eyes fixed straight ahead. I drove away from the only home I had ever known, and I didn't look back once.